What a man really wants in a wife is a confident wife of noble character because she is her husband’s crown.
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The Impact of the Confident Wife
I once read a secular article, Why A Great Woman Is Behind Every Great Man. The article’s premise was how important a supportive, confident wife is for the ongoing success of a powerful man. There were examples of women married to highly successful and powerful men and what they gave to their husbands. Several presidents and their wives were named in the article. Words like provides, confidence, encouraging, support, supportive were used in describing all that these women offered their husbands.
The Value of A Wife of Noble Character
The reality is that a wise woman who loves, honors, and respects her husband has the power to help her husband rise to places and positions he would never make it to without her. Men with a wise wife who loves, honors, and respects him will be the first to tell you their success is hugely attributed to the devotion and dedication of their wife.
Proverbs 12:4 says, “A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown.” Proverbs 31:10 begins the description of the wife worth honoring saying, “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Proverbs 31:30 ends her description with, Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
Wisdom Makes a Wife of Noble Character Confident
Wisdom seems to be the key that converges these two character traits of confident and noble. Proverbs repeatedly says the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. A wise wife is paramount to being a wife who loves her husband well. Wisdom points us back to the source of wisdom, God Himself.
The Enemy of the Confident Wife of Noble Character
On the other side of the spectrum, we have foolishness and its source, the Devil, himself. At the root of demeaning and disrespectful attitudes and words, we see the work of our spiritual enemy always nudging and urging us toward critical assessments. As always the devil is out to steal, kill, and destroy in our lives and a critical spirit never sets us up for victory, only defeat. How can we respect, honor, and encourage when criticism rules?
Sometimes we hold back encouragement from fear. (Also from the devil…)
My husband and I have been married for 22 years. I remember a time when I withheld affirmation because of fear. I feared that too much affirmation might cause my husband to become over confident and that he would realize he could do better than me.
My fear pointed to something deep inside of me, my own fear that I wasn’t enough. That kind of thinking shed light on my own personal identity crisis. I lacked confidence in myself, but confidence in myself would still never be enough.
True Confidence Dissolves Fear and Criticism
Encouragement comes much easier from a person who is confident, confident of who they are, their value, and what they have to offer. True confidence that dissolves fear and criticism comes from knowing your value and worth in Christ. That is why it is so important for us as godly women to know what God says about us. When we know that God says, we are fearfully and wonderfully made and that His works are marvelous, we are better positioned to offer encouragement to our husbands.
Dear Sister and Wife of Noble Character:
Are you your husband’s greatest cheerleader? If not, what holds you back? Are you gripped by a critical spirit? Are you afraid? Honestly, the answer to either of these issues is being rooted in Christ and knowing you are rooted in Christ. Knowing your value and worth in Jesus decimates a critical spirit and turns fear into faithful trust and confidence in your position in Christ.
Seek God, dear one. Ask God to heal what is broken and to reveal His truth of your worth and value as a woman and as a wife. Spend some time focusing on the things that God says about you. The only way you will find that is by opening your Bible and reading.
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Here is a blog post on Crosswalk.com that will give you some direction in what Bible verses to study to grow your confidence in your position in Christ. 32 Verses for Women Affirming Beauty, Value & A Beloved Identity in Christ