What The Feeling Of Overwhelmed May Actually Be Telling You
The Feeling of Overwhelmed
The feeling of overwhelmed often points to emotions that come from personal choices we make or don’t make. Decisions we act on and decisions we postpone can lead to frustration and overwhelm.
This isn’t to bring condemnation but awareness. Awareness has the potential to change everything. When we don’t see things for what they truly are, we have no motivation to make changes.
In my latest episode of HER Podcast, Feeling Overwhelmed With Life? Less Clutter More Life with Barbara Hemphill, Barbara (organizing pioneer and author of Taming the Paper Tiger and Less Clutter, More Life) and I discuss the impact of postponed decisions and how they lead to overwhelm. She also offers practical, easy-to-implement steps and resources to overcome it.
Women are especially prone to feeling overwhelmed because of our natural wiring to multitask. When we set our minds to something, we can accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Some of us push ourselves into overwhelm by trying to be “superwoman,” believing we should be able to do it all. But that distorted belief only leads to frustration and burnout. I can speak to this because I have lived it. Scripture gives us a perfect example in the story of Martha (John 11:1–42; 12:1–2; Luke 10:38–42).
A Biblical Character Study of Martha
Martha was a caregiver to her brother Lazarus. (John 11:3)
She and her sister Mary went to Jesus to seek His help. I imagine Martha was the driving force. Her personality saw a need, and she moved to fix it.
Martha was loved by Jesus. (John 11:5)
Martha knew Jesus loved her. That confidence made her bold and comfortable in seeking His help and intervention.
Martha loved and mourned her brother. (John 11:19)
Behind her strong, get-it-done exterior was deep tenderness. She cared for Lazarus in sickness and grieved him in death.
Martha didn’t hesitate to face what needed to be faced. (John 11:20)
“As soon as she heard Jesus was coming,” she went to meet Him. Think about her situation and personality. You almost feel she had something she needed to say. She knew what needed to happen. However, Jesus didn’t arrive until Lazarus had been dead four days. From her perspective, He was late.
Martha confronted Jesus. (John 11:21)
She spoke honestly, even if it meant conflict. I don’t believe she necessarily liked or sought confrontation, but she addressed what needed to be addressed. Martha got things done and expected others to do the same.
Martha had great faith. (John 11:22–27)
Death and grief often deter people in their faith, but not Martha. She declared:
“But even now I know that whatever You ask of God, God will give You.” I believe Jesus loved her boldness and tenacity and Hebrews 11:6 assures us that He was pleased with her faith.
Martha influenced others to act. (John 11:28)
Mary was more relationally motivated, while Martha was task-driven. Being resourceful as Martha was, she used Mary’s relationship with Jesus to prompt Him to address the situation.
Martha did not wait for Jesus to enter the city. (John 11:30)
A modern-day Martha never likes to wait or waste time. Today, she would be the woman rushing from one task to another with a list in hand — gaining satisfaction from checking things off.
Martha cared about the details. (John 11:39)
Even with a miracle moments away, Martha thought practically of the situation, “Lord, by this time there is a stench.” Jesus answered, “Did I not say to you that if you would believe you would see the glory of God?” Almost as if He were saying, “Listen Superwoman, I’ve got this. I can raise the dead and keep it from stinking!”
Martha was a servant. (John 12:1–2; Luke 10:40)
Serving was her strength, but strengths out of balance become weaknesses. Driven women often live on the edge of frustration and overwhelm.
Martha needed Jesus. (Luke 10:41)
Like us, Martha wore many hats. She served and accomplished much, but without Jesus guiding her she ended up overwhelmed. Jesus’ guidance is the only way we keep from falling off the cliff into the valley of frustration and overwhelm.
Which category do you identify with most?
1) I never feel overwhelmed with life.
Congratulations! You’ve learned how to manage your life circumstances and roles well. Keep it up and encourage someone who is struggling with feeling overwhelmed with life in how you live free from overwhelm.
The Lord has given Me the tongue of disciples,
that I may know how to sustain the weary with a word.
He awakens me morning by morning,
He awakens My ear to listen as a disciple.
Isaiah 50:4
2) I only feel overwhelmed in certain circumstances.
The first step is identifying the cause. When overwhelm rises, take a few minutes to stop, pray, and recognize what’s happening. Ask God to reveal the root.
Try this exercise:
Keep a paper or electronic notebook with you and jot down what’s happening each time you you experience the feeling of overwhelmed. After a week, patterns will emerge. Bring them to God. Ask how to make appropriate adjustments that will help you and for Him to what only He can do.
Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us. Ephesians 2:10
3) I only feel overwhelmed around certain people.
You likely already know who they are. The question is: Do they have to remain part of your life? If yes because they are family, coworkers, God may be using them to transform you and grow your character.
If this is your struggle, pray these two Scripture verses with their name inserted in place of the generic terms for people or men.
Pursue peace with all people (their name), and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord. Hebrews 12:14
If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men (their name). Romans 12:18
Ask God what He wants you to learn. If you are willing, He will show you and mature you through it.
4) I live with a feeling of overwhelmed!
Many overwhelmed women are perfectionists who procrastinate — not because they’re lazy, but because their standards feel impossible. Unrealistic expectations create constant overwhelm. You are not God. God is God. You were never meant to do or accomplish everything. However, God created you to successfully accomplish and walk confidently in something specific. Seek God to find your specific area of uniqueness, calling, and giftedness. Then filter everything you choose to do through God’s unique calling in your life.
For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:10
Resources to Help You Overcome Overwhelm
Boundaries by Henry Cloud
Barbara Hemphill’s Less Clutter More Life program
My Prayer for You
Precious Heavenly Daddy, Lord God Almighty, Help this woman who finds herself in the state of overwhelm rest and relax in the fact that You are in control, You are well able to do above all that she can ask or imagine, and You are faithful to accomplish in and through her all that You planned for her. Open her eyes to see that You really do have her and You really are working on her behalf, in Jesus’ name. Amen!
