Money discussions in a marriage can be a volatile topic. Money affects everything we do whether our bare essentials in life or our luxuries. Since we need money to fund both we need to have a healthy perspective on money matters.
So what happens when he values vacations and you value a savings account? Even the question registers a bit extreme. Does just because He values vacations as a top priority mean he doesn’t value a savings account? And does her valuing a savings account mean she doesn’t value vacations? Probably not… I slipped the words “top priority” in there because it boils down to priorities.
Let’s make a possible priority list for this husband and wife.
He wants a comfortable home, she wants a really nice home. She wants to eat out at least twice a week, but he wants to put that extra expense on a vacations. She wants her children to have all they need and much of what they desire. He wants his children to be well taken care of which doesn’t necessarily mean they get everything they want. He wants two vacations a year, one for the family and one for him and his wife. She wants a family vacation and if they have put what she thinks they need in the savings account and there is enough left for a couple’s vacation, then so be it. He wants a savings account but doesn’t want to miss out on life right now.
I am sure it was God’s intention to put us with a spouse who we differ from in deep rooted core values so we learn to live out the call of Romans 12:1.
I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. (Romans 12:1)
What better way to teach us how to live out the life of a living sacrifice than to cause us to face it on a daily basis in our own home and marriage? It’s really ingenious if you think about it. You have heard statements like men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Men’s brains are wired to think about one thing at a time and women’s brains are wired to multi-task. There is almost always one spouse who is a saver and one who is a spender. God intentionally created us different, then put us together in a covenant relationship, and calls us to work it out.
And how we are going to work it out is by being a “living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God. “ The beauty of God’s call and expectation that we work it out is found in the original language of the term “living.” The word living is the same as in “living water.” In John 7:37-39, John told his reader when Jesus spoke of the living water He was speaking of the Holy Spirit. The term “living” reminds us that the Holy Spirit is alive and exerts His power on our very soul that we may live a life impossible to live apart from His power.
In reality this couple is not as far apart as they may seem when in a discussion about a vacation and a savings account. Their values are similar but when the discussion turns to vacation and saving, they are sure they are on opposite ends of the spectrum.