Being in the counseling field, I have worked with many victims. I have seen a great deal of pain and suffering. People are dealing with pain caused by another person. Victims can be harmed by a wide range of situations. Some victims were hurt by another’s words. Some faced repeated sexual and/or physical abuse. No matter the situation the hurt can be difficult to overcome.
God’s Word tells us that there is a time for everything. Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” Ecclesiastes 3:4 specifically identifies “a time to weep” and “mourn.”
Victims need time to grieve.
The problem comes when the victim stays there.
Before I say anything else I need to say this:
If you are currently a victim of serious offenses like abuse or domestic violence, please reach out for help. This blog does not apply to you, because you are not expected to move forward when you are currently being victimized. This is for the individuals who have experienced hurt from another and are no longer in a being victimized by the individual.
The main concern with the Victim label is an individual becoming a victim in every area of their life. Many common statements victims make are: “I can’t” and “It’s too hard”.
Individuals who have been victimized in the past need to realize that what was done to them was wrong and awful. But there comes a point they have to deal with the hurt and pain and move forward.
Christine Caine is the best example I have ever heard of a victim overcoming. She was born without parent’s names on her birth certificate. She was victimized for the first twelve years of her life. If there was ever a reason to live life as a victim, I think it would be this. Christine asked a very powerful question, “Why would I let the first twelve years of my life dictate the rest of my life?”
This is not easy but necessary. The great thing is that we were never meant to do this alone. God desires for you to forgive your perpetrators and begin the healing process more than anybody else in your life.
In Scripture, we see that God loved to use broken and unqualified people. While being used by God, He would also bring physical and/or emotional healing for that individual. If you have been a victim in the past, remember your identity is not, Victim.
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
We are capable of not just overcoming, but conquering and flourishing in our lives. Overcoming is possible for even those who have experienced the most victimization.
BUT, You cannot do this alone.
I haven’t recommended this in any of my blog post, but this is one issue I suggest to seek out a licensed Christian counselor to walk along side you in this process. At the very least, you need a support group of loving Christ followers to rally around you.
I don’t know all of the situations of the women reading this, but I believe there are many women who need to hear my next few sentences.
Three things all victims needs to know:
- What was done to you was wrong.
- You are not to blame for what the other person did to you.
- You are capable of forgiving them and moving forward with your life.
Women who have experienced any type of abuse, need to know these things in order to start the healing process. This process is about making a daily decision. Know that every bit of the hard work you put in will be greatly worth it in the end.
Here is a link for a list of “Overcoming” Bible verses. Use them in your daily prayer life to help you walk through the healing process.
Taylor Draughn, M.A., LPC, LMFT